Archive for Juni, 2009

Takkan Pernah Hilang dari Ingatanku…..

{ 22 Juni 2009 @ 7:54 am } · { acara kampus }
{ Tags: , } · { Komentar (1) }

Takkan pernah hiLang daRi ingatanku,
saat kita duduk berdampingan di ruangan yang sama,
bersama,
sambiL terus bertanya tanya,
“kapankah kita akan segera beranjak dari sini?”

takkan pernah hiLang daRi ingatanku,
saat kita duduk di daLam ruang yang sangat sempit,
bersama yang Lain,
mencoba memejamkan mata sambiL bertanya tanya,
“masih jauhkah tempat yang kita tuju?”

takkan pernah hiLang daRi ingatanku,
saat kita duduk di bawah atap Langit,
berdampingan,
menanti sesuatu yang tak begitu pasti..

Takkan pernah hiLang daRi ingatanku,
saat kita berjaLan bersama,
beriringan,
saLing menguatkan,
sambiL bertanya daLam hati,
“sanggupkah kita bertahan hingga akhir perjaLanan ini?”

takkan pernah hiLang daRi ingatanku,
saat kita duduk berdampingan beraLaskan bumi,
dengan kata2mu yang sLaLu menggodaku,
senyum tuLus dan tawa Lepasmu..
aku akan Rindukan itU sLaLu..

Takkan pernah hiLang daRi ingatanku,
saat kita berjuang bersama,
mencoba menjadi yang terbaik,
waLaupun mungkin kau teLah jadi yang terbaik dLm hatiku..

Takkan pernah hiLang daRi ingatanku,
Candaanmu kepadaku,
meninggaLkan sebentuk memori daLam hati dan pikiranku,

takkan pernah hiLang daRi ingatanku,
tanganmu yang menaRikku,
menghiLangkan kegundahan daLam hati,
kau memang orang yang baik,
terLaLu baik, maLah..
kepada semuanya,
meski ku tetap berharap kebaikanmu hanya kau tujukan padaku,

aku menyayangimu, sahabat..
meski kau tak pernah tahu..
dan aku harap kau takkan pernah tahu..
cukup aku mengagumimu daLam diam..
sambiL berharap dapat bertemu Lagi denganmu keLak..
meLihat senyuman itU Lagi,
tawa Lepasmu..
aku merindukan smua yang ada pada diRimu..

[ Memories of JA - 19 untiL 21 Juni 2009 ]

Truly, Madly, Deeply…

{ 17 Juni 2009 @ 10:53 pm } · { perenungan }
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I’ll be your dream

I’ll be your wish

I’ll be your fantasy

I’ll be your hope

I’ll be your love

Be everything that you need

I’ll love you more

with every breath

Truly, madly, deeply do

I will be strong

I will be faithful

’cause I’m counting on

A new beginning

A reason for living

A deeper meaning, yeah

[chorus:]

I want to stand with you on a mountain

I want to bathe with you in the sea

I want to lay like this forever

Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,

I’ll make a wish send it to heaven

Then make you want to cry

The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty

That we’re surrounded by the comfort and protection of

The highest powers

In lonely hours

The tears devour you

[chorus]

Oh can you see it baby?

You don’t have to close your eyes

‘Cause it’s standing right before you

All that you need will surely come

I’ll be your dream

I’ll be your wish

I’ll be your fantasy

I’ll be your hope

I’ll be your love

Be everything that you need

I’ll love you more with every breath

Truly, madly, deeply do

[chorus]

I want to stand with you on a mountain

I want to bathe with you in the sea

I want to live like this forever

Until the sky falls down on me

- SAVAGE GARDEN -

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

{ 6 Juni 2009 @ 12:49 pm } · { lucu }
{ Komentar (2) }

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who finds such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

If you love someone….
Message: If you love someone, Set him free, If he comes back, he’s yours, If he doesn’t, he never was…

The New Versions….

Pessimist: If you love someone, Set him free… If he ever comes back, he’s yours, If he doesn’t, as expected, he never was.

Shakespeare: If you love someone, Set him free… If he ever comes back, he’s yours, If he doesn’t, here’s the poison, suicide yourself for him.

Optimist: If you love someone, Set him free… Don’t worry, he will come back.

Suspicious: If you love someone, Set him free… If he ever comes back, ask him why.

Impatient: If you love someone, Set him free… If he doesn’t comes back within some time forget him.

Patient: If you love someone, Set him free… If he doesn’t come back, Continue to wait until he comes back…

Playful: If you love someone, Set him free… *If he comes back, and if you love him still, Set him free again, repeat*

Animal-Rights Activist: If you love someone, Set him free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers: If you love someone, Set him free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that….

Biologist: If you love someone, Set him free, he’ll evolve.

Schwarzenegger’s fans: If you love someone, Set him free, HE’LL BE BACK!

Salesman: If you love someone, Set him free… If he ever comes back, deal! If he doesn’t, so what! “NEXT”.

Insurance agent: If you love someone, Show him the plan… If he ever comes back, sign him up, If he doesn’t, keep follow up with him and never give up!

Physics expert: If you love someone, Set him free… If he ever comes back, it’s the law of gravity, If he doesn’t, either there’s friction higher than the force or the angle of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician: If you love someone, Set him free… If he ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!), If he doesn’t, Y = 2X – log(0.46Y^2 + ( cos (52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays’ style: If You Love Someone, Set him free, If he Comes Back, he is Yours If It Doesn’t, Hunt Down and Kill HIM…!!! OR PERHAPS REPORT TO IMMIGRATION THAT SHE/HE IS AN ILLEGAL MIGRANT…

If you love someone, WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HIM FREE??? CARELESS.. IDIOT!!!

English is a Stupid Language

{ 6 Juni 2009 @ 12:46 pm } · { perenungan }
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Let’s face it: English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth.

If the teacher taught, why didn’t the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

And more … Some food for “Thought”.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow  that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes?”
They don’t call people from Holland ”Holes” because Holland is one of many provinces in the Netherlands, and then they should call them “Nethes….” but instead they call them Dutch.

<Di-copy dan di-paste dari milis sma 3 angkatan 2002 tanpa ijin>

Tidak ada kata terlambat…

{ 6 Juni 2009 @ 12:33 pm } · { bout love }
{ Tags: } · { Komentar (2) }

Terlambat..???
Enggak ada yang terlambat dalam mencintai seseorang…
Saat kau benar-benar mencintai seseorang …
walau kau terlambat menyadari namun itu bukan akhir dari cerita cintamu..
Namun, saat kau mulai menutup diri, dan menyerah berarti barulah kau terlambat…dan menjadi orang yang tak perlu lagi diperhitungkan…!!

Merelakan..Melepaskan??
Kedua hal yang mengharukan saat-saat kau mencintainya dengan segenap hatimu..
Kau benar- benar menawarkan perasaan cintamu.. Hingga kau rela melepaskannya jika ia memang akan bahagia..
Seperti halnya..Lebih baik melihat orang kau cintai tak lagi bersamamu, dibanding kau bersamanya dan membuatnya jenuh…
dan tak bahagia berada di sampingmu…
Saat kau menyadari semua tidaklah kejam untukmu..
Namun kau beruntung dapat menyadari perasaannya…

Menyedihkan..??
Ya..menyedihkan itu tepat untukmu yang menderita dalam percintaan..
Saat cintamu tak berbalas..atau orang kau cintai telah berkhianat…
Tapi kau bukan orang yang paling menyedihkan…Namun, Sadarilah..dia yang melukaimu lebih menyedihkan lagi darimu…
Karna tanpa ia sadari…ia menyia-nyiakanmu yang telah sangat mencintainya…

Salah Mencintai..??
Hanya dengan mencintai kau melihat dirinya sangat sempurna..Namun mencintai bukan suatu kebutuhan tapi suatu pilihan..
Saat kau menganggap cinta itu bagai kebutuhan..!!kau tak akan rela melepasnya…Kau hanya boleh menyadari dia adalah pilihan mu
bukan suatu kebutuhan yang harus memenuhi hidupnu… Maka kau akan sakit dan tak rela bila kau kehilangannya…

Cinta itu gak selalu indah..seindah dongeng cinderella berakhir bahagia..atau romeo en juliet dgn kisahnya yang abadi…
Namun, kau bisa mencoba nya… Namun saat kau tak berhasil menciptakan cerita2 indah…Kau hanya bisa merelakan nya…
Saat yang tepat kau akan temukan seseorang yang lebih baik dan mempesona…
Karena dibalik semuanya cinta tak harus memiliki…maka dengan mengaguminya kau sudah cukup membuktikan rela dan tetap bisa bertahan walau dia tak disampingmu sekalipun…

What do you want..???

{ 6 Juni 2009 @ 12:26 pm } · { perenungan }
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==================================================================================

What do Women Want?
When I was a young woman,
all I wanted was a guy with big muscles.
So I dated a muscular guy.
He was as strong as Terminator,
but he beat up any other guy who would stare at me.
I was afraid he would hit me too.
So I dumped him when he was in jail.

Then I decided to date a romantic guy.
He was so sweet: he sent me flowers every Friday to my office just to ask me out;
one time he packed himself into a box as my birthday gift.
But he was also romantic to other girls
until I found out from a florist that he ordered 5 dozens roses each Friday.
It was too late, he already dumped me.

So I decided to date a stable guy.
He was a “good” man and he had a Ph.D from MIT.
But all he talked with me was M/M/1 Queuing theory.
I had to dump him because when one day I said I was going to Australia,
he said “you don’t need to go there to buy apples.
There’s a mama shop across the street.”

After that I decided to date an interesting guy.
He was so funny and he was like “George” in TV Steinfield.
He made me laugh all time.
But later, I couldn’t laugh any more.
He didn’t have a job, nor did he plan to find one.
All he did was playing Mahjongg and “Cho Dai Di.”
The worst thing is that we got married.

*********************************************************************************

What do Guys Want?

When I was in poly,
all I wanted was a girl with big bobs.
So I dated a girl with big bobs,
but there was no passion.

So I decided I needed a passionate girl.
In University, I dated a passionate girl,
but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency,
she cried all the time.

So I decided I needed a girl with some stability
and I found a very stable girl.
But she was so boring,
she never got excited about anything.

So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
There, I found an exciting girl,
but I couldn’t keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
She was direction-less.

So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
After graduation, I found an ambitious girl and married her.
She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned.

So what do you want?

At many times,
people just go after what they want their ideal partner to be.
And they neglect what that person has.
Chasing after what you want is never ending and may not come to a good end.
So cherish what you have and appreciate what they are!!!

when u were 1 year old

{ 6 Juni 2009 @ 12:24 pm } · { perenungan }
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When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, “I’M NOT GOING!”

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor’s window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, “It’s none of your business.”

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.
You thanked her by saying, “I don’t want to be like you.”

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling, “Muuhh-ther, please!”

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, “Things are different now.”

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative’s birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were “really busy right now.”

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died.
And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

ProBlem soLve foR YouR soUL

{ 6 Juni 2009 @ 12:22 pm } · { bout love }
{ Tinggalkan sebuah Komentar }

Patah hati karena putus cinta, bukan hanya dominasi kaum hawa. Kaum Adam-pun juga bisa merasakan hal  yang sama. Perbedaannya hanya terletak pada cara  menanganinya. Lalu apa sebenarnya yang ada dalam benak pria saat  mereka
merasakan patah hati? Samakah dengan yang  dirasakan oleh wanita?

Saat patah hati wanita membiarkan dirinya terhanyut dalam situasi ‘hancur’ dan sedih,  maka pria jauh lebih rasional dan tak mau lama- lama terlarut. Meski cara tersebut tidak sepenuhnya dapat menghilangkan perasaan yang  kacau balau dalam hati. Tapi setidaknya para  wanita bisa belajar dari para pria, bagaimana
mengatasi rasa sakit hati dengan cara laki-laki.

Berikut ini ada beberapa cara yang biasanya  dilakukan pria saat mereka patah hati;

Setelah putus cinta, biasanya pria berusaha menyukai benda-benda yang semasa pacaran dibenci oleh pasangannya. Misalnya, mendengarkan lagu atau memakai pakaian yang  dulu selalu dikritik si dia. Melakukan hal-hal yang dulu tidak disukai
pasangan ternyata cukup ampuh membuat perasaan menjadi jauh lebih lega. Kenapa? Karena sekarang Anda bebas dari kritikan si dia.

Begitu putus cinta, tak segan-segan pria langsung membeli parfum baru dengan aroma yang paling disukainya. Pria tak akan mau menggunakan parfum yang baunya mengingatkan kenangan akan kisah cintanya.

Putus cinta berarti bisa kembali berkumpul dan bersenang-senang dengan teman-teman. Bagi pria, berkumpul dengan teman-teman satu geng adalah cara paling ampuh untuk melupakan kisah cionta yang buruk.

Berfikir secara matang. Biasanya pria berusaha dengan keras untuk menyakinkan diri sendiri bahwa yang terjadi memanglah yang terbaik.
Percaya pada kemampuan diri sendiri, merupakan cara paling ampuh untuk menyembuhkan perasaan.

Mengambil manfaat. Bagi pria, putus cinta = mengubah kebiasaan hidup dengan tiba-tiba. Agar tak terlalu terasa dengan perubahan tersebut, biasanya pria berfikir santai bahwa ia baru saja mendapat pengalaman baru.
Nah, pengalaman baru tersebut bisa membuatnya lebih matang secara emosi yang ternyata juga bisa menguatkan watak.

Mengubah tatanan atau gaya rambut. Secara simbolis, biasanya pria menganggap
bahwa memotong rambut berarti mengangkat beban dari pundak atau memulai
sesuatu yang baru.

Ikut latihan kebugaran tubuh. Aliran endorfin akan membantu menaikkan semangat, tak hanya itu olahraga adalah cara paling tepat untuk mengalihkan pikiran tentang masa lalu.

just do ur best

{ 6 Juni 2009 @ 12:14 pm } · { perenungan }
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Seekor anak anjing yang kecil mungil sedang berjalan-jalan di ladang pemiliknya. Ketika dia mendekati kandang kuda, dia mendengar binatang besar itu memanggilnya. Kata kuda itu : “Kamu pasti masih baru di sini, cepat atau lambat kamu akan mengetahui kalau pemilik ladang ini mencintai saya lebih dari binatang lainnya, sebab saya bisa mengangkut banyak barang untuknya, saya kira binatang sekecil kamu tidak akan bernilai sama sekali baginya.” ujarnya dengan sinis.

Anjing kecil itu menundukkan kepalanya dan pergi, lalu dia mendengar seekor sapi di kandang sebelah berkata : “Saya adalah binatang yang paling terhormat di sini sebab nyonya di sini membuat keju dan mentega dari susu saya. Kamu tentu tidak berguna bagi keluarga di sini.” dengan nada mencemooh.

Teriak seekor domba : “Hai sapi, kedudukanmu tidak lebih tinggi dari saya, saya memberi mantel bulu kepada pemilik ladang ini. Saya member kehangatan kepada seluruh keluarga. Tapi omonganmu soal anjing kecil itu, sepertinya kamu memang benar. Dia sama sekali tidak ada manfaatnya di sini.”

Satu demi satu binatang di situ ikut serta dalam percakapan itu, sambil menceritakan betapa tingginya kedudukan mereka di ladang itu.

Ayam pun berkata bagaimana dia telah memberikan telur, kucing bangga bagaimana dia telah mengenyahkan tikus-tikus pengerat dari ladang itu.

Semua binatang sepakat kalau si anjing kecil itu adalah makhluk tak berguna dan tidak sanggup memberikan kontribusi apapun kepada keluarga itu.

Terpukul oleh kecaman binatang-binatang lain, anjing kecil itu pergi ke tempat sepi dan mulai menangis menyesali nasibnya, sedih rasanya sudah yatim piatu, dianggap tak berguna, disingkirkan dari pergaulan lagi.

Ada seekor anjing tua di situ mendengar tangisan tersebut, lalu menyimak keluh kesah si anjing kecil itu. “Saya tidak dapat memberikan pelayanan kepada keluarga di sini, sayalah hewan yang paling tidak berguna di sini.”

Kata anjing tua itu : “Memang benar bahwa kamu terlalu kecil untuk menarik pedati, kamu tidak bisa memberikan telur, susu ataupun bulu, tetapi bodoh sekali jika kamu menangisi sesuatu yang tidak bisa kamu lakukan. Kamu harus menggunakan kemampuan yang diberikan oleh Sang Pencipta untuk membawa kegembiraan.”

Malam itu ketika pemilik ladang baru pulang dan tampak amat lelah karena perjalanan jauh di panas terik matahari, anjing kecil itu lari menghampirinya, menjilat kakinya dan melompat ke pelukannya. Sambil menjatuhkan diri ke tanah, pemilik ladang dan anjing kecil itu berguling-guling di rumput disertai tawa ria.

Akhirnya pemilik ladang itu memeluk dia erat-erat dan mengelus-elus kepalanya, serta berkata, “Meskipun saya pulang dalam keadaan letih, tapi rasanya semua jadi sirna, bila kau menyambutku semesra ini, kamu sungguh yang paling berharga di antara semua binatang di ladang ini, kecil kecil kamu telah mengerti artinya kasih………

Catatan:
Jangan sedih karena kamu tidak dapat melakukan sesuatu seperti orang lain karena memang tidak memiliki kemampuan untuk itu, tetapi apa yang kamu dapat lakukan, lakukanlah itu dengan sebaik-baiknya.
Dan jangan sombong jika kamu merasa banyak melakukan beberapa hal pada orang lain, karena orang yang tinggi hati akan direndahkan dan orang yang rendah hati akan ditinggikan.

Sumber : Unknown

jokes!!!! (dari blog orang,,,,=p)

{ 6 Juni 2009 @ 11:54 am } · { lucu }
{ Komentar (2) }

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money,
and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife,
“When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.
I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”
And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died,
she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket;
his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket,
the wife said, “Wait just a minute!” She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and the rolled it away.
So her friend said, “Girl, I know you weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.”

The loyal wife replied, “Listen, I’m a Christian, I can’t go back on my word.
I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”

“You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?

“I sure did” said the wife.
“I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.”

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Women Are Smarter Than Men

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died,
Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
Going to a singles’ bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
“I’m just an ordinary man,” he said, walking up to her,
“but in just a week or two, my father will die and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”

The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.

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Women’s Revenge

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No,” she replied,
“but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him.”

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Wife Vs Husband

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
“Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

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Words

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.”
The husband! then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

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Stupid And Beautiful

A man said to his wife one day,
“I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.”
The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

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The Beast

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper.
“Be careful,” he said to his wife. “You will bring out the beast in me.”
“So what?” his wife shot back. “Who’s afraid of a mouse?”

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